Why I want to be like Britney
Being a young impressionable girl who has bought into society’s Holllywood dogma I have decided that the solution to all my problems could be simply solved by becoming the next Britney. Sure I want to be healthy, sure I want to be happy, but what I really want is to be like Britney Spears
The First Reason – I don’t have a problem with people thinking I’m a slut
I foresaw this being a drawback at first but then I realized most people are rather ignorant to the truth even when it is irrefutable and will likely continue to think what they want to anyway, so …fuck ‘em! Think I’m a slut, I don’t care, it will allot me some freedom to become the sexual deviant I know I can be.
Numero Dos
Reason Number Three - The Immortalization of My Name
Rachel could be the next Britney, Madonna, Cher, or dare I dream Celine. People will merely need to refer to 'Rachel' and all will instantly have images of me and my newly purchased breasts, ‘we spared no expense’.
The Final Reason - Phase 2 of My Plan to Take Over the World
The shrill shrieking of 13-year-old girls and hungry panting of middle age men all adoring me in unison. There minds to do with as I please, I could take over the world with my new army of financially secure brawn coupled with hormonally charged teenaged insanity. First, all Starbucks Coffee cafes will be burned to the ground, while chanting “Down with the consumer whore!” It will be decreed that anyone named Susan or Jack will have to forever collar a fuschia colored cow-bell, pot will be legalized, happy hardcore trance outlawed, we’d blow up France, bring combat boots back into fashion, rid ourselves of nuclear missiles and focus all intelligence on creating the technology for umbrellas that do not reverse explode after two minutes in the windy rain. It will be beautiful!
The First Reason – I don’t have a problem with people thinking I’m a slut
I foresaw this being a drawback at first but then I realized most people are rather ignorant to the truth even when it is irrefutable and will likely continue to think what they want to anyway, so …fuck ‘em! Think I’m a slut, I don’t care, it will allot me some freedom to become the sexual deviant I know I can be.
Numero Dos
Reason Number Three - The Immortalization of My Name
Rachel could be the next Britney, Madonna, Cher, or dare I dream Celine. People will merely need to refer to 'Rachel' and all will instantly have images of me and my newly purchased breasts, ‘we spared no expense’.
The Final Reason - Phase 2 of My Plan to Take Over the World
The shrill shrieking of 13-year-old girls and hungry panting of middle age men all adoring me in unison. There minds to do with as I please, I could take over the world with my new army of financially secure brawn coupled with hormonally charged teenaged insanity. First, all Starbucks Coffee cafes will be burned to the ground, while chanting “Down with the consumer whore!” It will be decreed that anyone named Susan or Jack will have to forever collar a fuschia colored cow-bell, pot will be legalized, happy hardcore trance outlawed, we’d blow up France, bring combat boots back into fashion, rid ourselves of nuclear missiles and focus all intelligence on creating the technology for umbrellas that do not reverse explode after two minutes in the windy rain. It will be beautiful!
posted by MiSs BLiSs at 9:25 PM
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